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Hey everyone! These are all my poems... well, not all of them... not even close, actually! LOL! These are my "selected poems", which are still crap... But you can see more! Just click the link below!
Finally
A grounded angel
Missing the wings she needs
To fly far away
To a place where she belongs
Weighed down like a stone
From the feeling that won’t pass
Wishing to be let go
And finally be free
Through the wind and the rain
She stands and waits
Waiting for her rainbow after the storm
If only the storm would stop
When the storm stops, she’ll see her rainbow
She’ll sprout her wings and fly to a place
Where she is loved… finally
-- February 17th 2003
Between Us
The air is so thick between us
What’s wrong?
You won’t tell me
And I won’t ask…
There’s awkwardness between us
That wasn’t there before
I wish you would tell me
That’s what friends are for
I can sense the tension
Did I do something wrong?
If anyone should be mad
It should be me…
There’s been this feeling between us
For at least a year now
A year last September
Yes, I’ve been counting
Do you ever feel this?
Do you know what I feel?
Of course not…
Nothing’s ever just between us…
--January 4th 2004
I Melt
You have no idea
How much I wanted to hate you
But then I see you again
And I melt
You have no idea
How much I wanted to be bitter
But then you hug me
And I melt
You have no idea
How much I loved you
But then you love her
And I melt
You have no idea
How much I wanted to tell you
But then you hurt me
And I melt
--December 27th 2003
Why do you always
Have to be the victim?
Not everyone’s out to get you
Not everyone sets out to hurt you
I envy you so…
You have the perfect form
You’re attractive and
You have him…
You may have stole him
From me
But that’s ok because
You were the one he wanted
So stop thinking that
He doesn’t care
He worships you
And I’d give the world
Just to have one moment
Just one split-second in time
To know what that feels like…
You’re not the victim
--January 4th 2004
The Walls
It has taken years
To build up all these
Spare walls surrounding
My heart and my soul
Yet, I ache for them to fall
I wish to see them crumble
To share with the world
My shattered dreams and tattered heart
As much as I want it, need it
I can't let them fall
The fear of letting people know me
Is so fierce it takes over me
I used to think that
I was running from everyone
And their hateful thoughts and lies
But really I'm running from myself
--April 2nd 2004
Four Long Years
I've tried so hard
For four long years
Trying to make this work
But this was the last straw
I don't know if you've tried
Or even cared when I cried
Or noticed that I fought for you
Tooth and nail... to the last breath
I fought when people criticized
When people poked fun or
Generally put you down
But then you didn't for me... you joined
I'm starting to believe
All these years, blood and tears
Have been in vain
Because you, obviously, don't try
--February 3rd 2004
The December Rain
Memories wished forgotten
Floating in a pool of tears
I’ve been the shadow
Of the things that haunt my nights
For so long, it hurts to smile
The eyes in the mirror
Glare back at me
Showing they know I have
Something to hide so I
Step away from the mirror
I’ve spent years in this storm
Bruised by heaven and hell
Leaving me to die
Leaving a restless dream that haunts my soul
So that I cannot find myself
I feel so lost, filled with disappointment
A feeling that I’m meant for something more
I beg for you not to hate me
Grasping at some compassion
You don’t want to give
This is more then I can take
I’m just destined to fail
I can’t apologize for shattered dreams
My soul is broken like shards of glass
Because the fear was too much to handle
Because I can’t bear the December Rain…
-- February 20th 2004
Always Hope
There's always hope
Hope for the journey through eternity
When your so desperate to know
That you're not alone
There's always hope
There's always hope
When it all falls apart
When they make you seem so small
You aren't alone
There's always hope
There's always hope
And soon there'll be
Endless skies of blue
And you'll rise from the ashes
For there is always hope
--April 2nd 2004
Carry On
The red of my blood
Runs down the silent silver
Of the knife who’s blade
Has found its way to my skin
What is it about the warmth,
The feeling of a river of red
Flowing into the sink that
Makes me feel so alive?
Every slice is a reminder
That nothing is good enough
That I’m not good enough
As life laughs in my face
The hushed pink and white battlefield
Bears witness to every ounce of pain
That fate has decided to throw my way
And the strength that I’ve found to carry on
-- October 26th 2005
Shell Chandelier
Every time I look at
That shell chandelier
Hanging in the corner of my room
I think about you...
I feel sad because you
Gave it to me when
I was just a baby
When you seemed to care
I think about taking it down
And storing it away somewhere
Like all the hurtful memories
Of you, and what you meant to me
But that shell chandelier
Is a little piece of you
Showing the love I'm not sure
You even have anymore...
And all I have left of you
Are all these memories and
This shell chandelier
Still hanging in the corner
--October 1st 2004
Breathless
I've always been terrified of heights
The way the world looks so detached
How the distance to the ground is dizzying
And that ever present thought of a fatal fall
The air get thinner the higher you go
The higher you go, the harder to breathe
Or the sight of the far-away landscape
Can sometimes be enough to take your breath away
You can feel the height rob you of it
Take your breath like it was never yours to begin with
It leaves you to drown in nature's beauty
And covet that in no world would it ever be yours
The wind mocks you as it blows
It wants you to know it's in control
In the heights of the hills, you belong to it
And nature can decide what she wants of you
The distance between me and the Earth is tempting
I've never trusted myself around heights
You never know whether you're going to jump
Or if nature would even let you if you tried
-- April 29th 2006
Weathering The Storm
I look at him,
I look into his eyes
And I know…
I know that everyday, I’m killing him
I know that everyday, he’s breaking down
And I don't know why I do what I do
I don’t know how I can hurt this man
I don’t know how I can do this to him
The man that I would give everything for
Yet, day after day, comes the pain
The yelling, the screaming, the crying…
And he just stands there, a rock weathering a storm
Then came the day that the rock broke
He couldn’t weather the storm any longer
And he washed into the sea of my tears
I never blamed him, I blamed myself
For destroying the best thing I ever had
And even the truth can’t bring him back…
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